Folks, with a saddened heart I regret to inform you Easter has been cancelled. The Easter bunny has died while carrying out his annual Easter bunny duties. And unlike Jesus who is the cause for our celebrations, Easter bunnies stay dead.
Authorities have no updates as of yet on how this happened or who is responsible for this tragedy. Video surveillance captured footage of two suspects fleeing from nearby the scene of the crime.
The first suspect is the real life GI Joe transformer and notable motorcycle enthusiast often found touring the open road who goes by the call sign Mick Sobczak.
Mick is known to be fully armed with quick wit, excellent vocabulary capable of dismantling snowflakes like a knife through butter, and an advanced degree in sarcasm which he uses at-will.
Not much is known about the second suspect other than his facial expressions remain unchanged despite whatever may be going on around him.
Anyone who sights or has information on either of their whereabouts is urged to contact 1-800-Ghostbusters. 👀