Dogs Are Man’s Best Wingman

Does any of the following describe you?

  • You struggle engaging in conversation with the opposite sex. 🚺
  • Single and accepting applications for your open partner-in-crime position BUT lack any skills in the “first move” department. 🗣
  • Don’t know where to start when trying to determine what our lady friends like or are interested in. 🤔

If you relate to ANY of these descriptions, I have news for you… Get a dog!

Yeah, I’m sure you’ve heard that tidbit before and for a long list of reasons. I’m not taking away from any of those suggestions or their validity. What I AM discussing is specifically engaging with the opposite sex.

You may be wondering “What does owning a dog have to do with talking to women?”

Though there’s hundred examples to answer that question, I’ll start by using your routine trips to the pet store and what that’s been like for me as my first supporting example. The catch here is you must buy dog food specifically at a pet store and not some all-purpose store like Walmart.

So now that I’ve clarified, again “How does a trip to a pet store specifically have to do with talking to women?”

Easy. There’s not a time in my 12 or so years as a dog owner that whenever I go to a pet store I don’t leave with…

  • 13 phone numbers (no less than 10 of which are prospective business leads which have a high probability of evolving into an actual client).📱
  • 8 invitations to local events happening in my area such as birthday parties, family reunions, or some other group festivities that we humans so often gather for. 🎉
  • My personal favorite — 3 play date reservations for children I don’t even have. 👶

What’s odd about this pattern isn’t the quantity of anything I’ve described walking away with. It’s that I didn’t initiate or plan any of it! In most cases, I’m personally trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Only out of a general respect for other people, I don’t simply ignore the person all together and walk off. But at pet stores, I’m reminded just how difficult some people can be to dis-engage with — They have something they want you to hear and come hell or high water, you’re going to hear it.

So if the above describes you, offer to take your friend’s dog on a walk. Be a little strategic and ensure a pet store just so happens to appear somewhere along your planned walk. If you do, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Dog’s are called “Man’s best friend.” Obviously whoever coined that wasn’t aware of the term “feminist” nor spoke to one.

As much as I agree with feminist on this one that “Humans best friend” is a much more accurate description, I can’t help but notice the odd accuracy the phrase as coined applies to us male types… especially the introverted ones. In which case, I think a far more accurate description would be “Man’s best wingman.”

I can’t count how many times I’ve been approached (specifically by women) on account of my dogs. At first I thought it was because women shared in my interest with “squishy face” dogs but have since learned it’s simply dogs – all encompassing.

Though I’ve only provided one example, and that’s your trip to the pet store, there’s a plethora of first-hand experiences I could share on just how open and communicative women become in a dog’s presence. I’ve got examples of strangers, literally strangers, telling me things I wouldn’t trust telling a priest/rabbi or even a therapist… and yet there they are openly sharing it.

This picture was taken yesterday while I was at a local pet store for a routine dog food re-supply. What you see is exactly what everyone else saw but it caused 3 unnecessary conversations.

1 – highly fashionable older lady (who just got out of a Porsche suv) wanted me to know how much she liked boxers and the names of every boxer she’s had since Jesus was alive.

2 – the cashier who wouldn’t stop interviewing me once she found out my dogs were left in the car and wanted to know why I didn’t bring them inside (carrying a 30lb bag of dog food while holding the leash of 2 dogs wasn’t a sufficient answer).

3 – Mother with 2 children in tow who wanted to know if my dogs were “friendly” (which in dog parent world means “Can I pet them?”) to which I answered honestly “Yes”. That reply only prolonged my time spent in a pet store parking lot bc now I’m having to be polite and pretend I’m listening to the conversation that was going on while 2 kids nervously began and then got really into petting my dogs (who were loving every minute of the attention they were getting AND knowing they were one-upping me by forcing me to comply with their best interest on account of their “friendly” behavior).

If the pet store example doesn’t do it for ya, here’s another one which is much more intimate in nature bc it’s an observation coming directly from my wife (a person who has been described as my “wife” for 10 years this coming February).

My wife and I openly joke that whenever she wants to get the dog excited to go for a walk, she’ll turn to the dog and say “You want to go help your dad pick up chicks?” That may seem odd coming from any spouse, but odd or not, understand when my wife is saying it, she’s not saying it in a judgemental way or to condone any flirtatious behavior on my part. She’s only saying it to get the dog so hyper that I actually take them on a walk. Which the words “Do you want to go” (specifically “go”) is all the dogs care to hear… and they do understand what those words mean.

So as it relates herein, the amount of women I’ve talked to on account of my dogs is so great that even my wife acknowledges it’s sheer volume. Now if that’s not a testament acknowledging the existence of a dog’s power in communicating with women, I don’t know what is.

I’m aware this may not be 100% advice and work for every fella who may read this, but know it’s largely understood by pet owners — people, specifically women, will engage with you when you have a dog.

There’s a million more examples I’d love to share but don’t want to overstay my welcome. I’d love to hear any examples you may have.

Leave a Reply