Q&A with Friends for Better Communcation

Q&A from a recorded call on December 8th, 2021

How well do you know your friends, truly? I remember the days of Myspace where friends would tag you in posts where you had to answer questions about yourself in order to see where you and your friends are similar. Questions would generally be quick fire or short answer, yes or no, types such as what your favorite color is.

Though these questionnaires are still around on other various social media platforms, I don’t see them as often as I once enjoyed. And to me, that’s a shame, and something I will proactively seek to change.

To that end, I recently had a call with my dear friend, Veronica Rose, wherein I asked her if she’d be willing to answer a few broad and some introspective questions about herself and our friendship which I could use for this blog. To my delight, she agreed without hesitation.

Feel free to use any or all of the questions with your firends as a way to get to know them better, find out something you have been wanting to know, or to just spice up the dialogue. In any event, I hope you enjoy!


Angel’s Rest, Oregon

Get To Know Veronica Rose

Our Friendship

What’s one quality you think is important in a friend?

Integrity.

I need to know if I can trust a person and get a good sense of who they are and where they stand. For example, if they say, “Hey, I’m gonna be here by xyz time,” or say they’re going to do something, I like when they follow through. And if they can’t do it like we discussed before, they make sure to tell me.

To me, integrity is really important because it goes with someone’s, I don’t wanna say “core values,” but maybe sense of who they are. If you don’t have integrity, then it’s very hard to be able to know how to respond to someone or react to them because if they are a constant moving target, you can’t get a clear sense of who they are.

What’s one thing you’ve learned or realized because of me?

Going back to what I’ve said to you before, I know you’re not a bad person at heart. If anything, I feel empathy for what you’ve gone through due to your past and childhood that has caused you to feel like you need to act or say things in a certain way. I’ve learned to be able to take a step back and as a result, can feel empathy and even somewhat sadness for you, instead of just being like, “Oh, you’re a terrible person.” You know I don’t think that at all.

What’s the best part of our kind of friendship?

The best part of this kind of friendship is you get to have the closeness without feeling like we have to combine both of our paths and compromise. For example, we don’t both need to move in with each other. We don’t both need to get married. We don’t need to combine our finances and align our daily happenings and goals. We can do what each other wants to do, in parallel, alongside each other.

What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to say to me but couldn’t?

I feel like I’ve honestly said everything I’ve wanted to. With you, I’m pretty open and upfront, especially as of late. I don’t feel like there is anything left unsaid.

What’s my most annoying habit?

I want to say your desire to always debate, but that’s not really a habit. So thinking in terms of traditional habits, I’d say smoking, even if a pipe, it’s still smoking.

How do you describe me to your other friends?

I describe you as someone I’m really close to that I really care about. In the past, when things have been good, they’re great and when they’re bad, they’re really bad. I know you have stuff you’ve gone through in your past and are trying to heal through. I know at your core you’re not bad and that you’re just like me on your own journey to try to be a better person.

Do I do things that offend you?

Arguing for arguing’s sake. It’s not like you’re saying something where I inherently think, “Oh my God!” It’s more that I’m offended when you try to argue something or come at me about a point very strongly and when I say, “Hey, I am uncomfortable, or I don’t appreciate what you said,” you dismiss it.

Quick-Fire Questions

Describe yourself in five words.

Empath, smart, funny, caring, and kind.

What is your motto in life?

Lead with kindness.

If you could change something you did in your past, what would you have done differently?

I would have started therapy sooner.

What is the most childish habit of yours?

I have a tendency to lock my jaw and grind my teeth. I’ll clench my jaw when I’m really stressed out or going through periods of anxiety.

Who is your role model?

Honestly, I don’t have one.

What is your biggest insecurity?

Failure to not be perfect or not doing things perfectly.

Do you think you are smart?

Yes.

What do you feel when people call you bright?

When people call me bright, I feel like they think I’m more aware and intuitive with various things and situations. I just “get it.” Whatever “it” is.

What’s your favorite drink?

Chai latte.

Where are you most productive?

In my office.

Summer or winter?

Summer

Best fashion advice you’ve ever recieved?

Fashion is what looks good on you.

What’s the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them?

Their eyes.

Favorite TV show?

Oh, that’s hard. I really liked Stranger Things for a while.

If you could be any animal what would it be?

Jaguar.

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Oysters… nasty fuckers!

What is your favorite cake flavor?

Cake flavor? Something light. Probably lemon based or strawberry based.

How do you start your day?

I get up, make my bed, brush my teeth, put my contacts in, and that’s really it!

In which subject were you worst at school?

Honestly, reading. I’m not a terrible reader, I just had a hard time comprehending, but I think that’s more because I got bored easily.

What subject were you best at school?

Science.

Cats or dogs?

Cats

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?

I always wondered what it would be like living in New Zealand.

What’s something that you do not like doing?

I do not like having to re-do work. I want to do it right the first time.

What’s something that you like doing?

I like investigating and researching things.

What’s your hobby?

That’s a good question. I don’t really have one at the moment. I’m trying to find one.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

What scares you?

Failure.

What’s the most annoying stereotype about being a grown up?

This may not be a stereotype, but you know how people are so quick to grow up because they think they’ll have freedom, as in freedom to do things you can’t as a kid? That’s actually not the case. You get more freedom, in a sense, because you’re free from your parents, but society doesn’t necessarily allow you that same freedom. You still have rules, you still have things you have to abide by. Instead of by your parents, it’s by society or some other governing body such the government, or you know, your boss, your job, and so forth.

What do you think is the most stupid thing you have done when you were young?

Want to grow up.

What’s something new happening in your life right now?

Spiritual journey.

What’s your favorite number and why?

Four. I actually don’t know why. It’s always been a favorite number of mine since I was a kid. When I would play board games, if I had to pick a number on a dice, I would always pick four.

What would you change about yourself?

Perfectionism.

Have you ever been in love?

Yes.

What it what is success for you?

Being able to do something I love and also get paid for it.

What’s your favorite food?

Thai food.

What are the things that you still want to achieve?

I want to achieve spiritual enlightenment and I want to achieve what my purpose is in life.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever gotten?

I have been complimented on having a high emotional intelligence. I take that more as I’m hyper aware of how other people feel in certain situations or how they come across. Call it emotional intelligence, intution, or something else, but I am sensitive to that and I take note of it.

What is your greatest lesson in life at least thus far?

People that are maybe angry or don’t treat you well aren’t necessarily bad people. It just means there’s a part of them that’s unhealed or a part of them that’s hurting that you need to show kindness to. It doesn’t mean their behavior is acceptable though! But instead of automatically hating them and labeling them a bad person, have more empathy and ask yourself, “Why are they reacting or treating me this way?” Is there something that’s going on with them that’s causing it?

Now obviously the caveat to that is it doesn’t apply to murderers or people who want to cause pain or bodily harm to other people (chuckles).

Let’s say someone had an attitude with you today, or you noticed someone’s having a constant attitude with you. Instead of just thinking “I hate them, they are a terrible person,” try to assess why they feel the need to say xyz, and/or understand what provoked them to act in a certain way.

I’ve learned that being able to have more empathy for what people are going through or what they have gone through that has provoked them to act or say things in a certain way, brings me more meaningful connections, deeper relationships, and better communcation.


Photo Gallery

Photos of Veronica Rose and myself at various outtings over the past year.